LAWS OF THE OZNEI HAMAN

In Seder Mevuvalim, Masechet Ugie'ot, we learn of the obligation to eat  three cornered cookies, including Raban Gamliel's dictum of "one who does  not eat the 'Ozney Haman' on Purim is no better than Vashti, Bigtan or  Teresh." (Sichot Ha'Blah III)

But what about the fillings?  Freckt the Gemara:

1) If one bakes hamentaschen, or oznei haman, must one make a certain  amount of them with "Munn", or poppy seed filling? 

2) Must one eat a Munn hamataschen to be mekabel the mitzvah of Ozney  Haman? 

3) Are chocolate chip ozney haman mutar for the bracha of "al achilat  ozney haman?"

Reconstructionist rabbis say that one may fill the cookies with any  filling, as long as one feels a sense of empowerment in doing so.  Furthermore, they add that one may make cookies with any number of sides  if it facilitates multicultural exchange. Lastly, they avoid the European  ethnocentric "hamantaschen" or any heterosexist, andocentric form of  "haman's ears." They suggest "Jewish Persian celebration treats" or  "geometric filled baked goods."  

Reform Judaism is at a crossroads. Until recently, the Las Vegas platform  was followed, which states that a Jew must pick the filling that they feel  is most integral to their Jewish identity. However, recent traditionalist  leanings have led to Reform clergy encouraging their congregation to eat  at least one Munn-filled cookie. However, 92% of reform Jews ages 14 to 37  find poppy seed filling "ass-nasty and vulgar." How the Reform movement  attends to this issue bears further  attention in the coming seasons.  

The Conservative movement says that munn, while traditional, is not  required, and that chocolate chips are a fine filling, as well as peanut  butter or even kiwifruit. However, green mint jelly is forbidden, as it is  an even nastier filling than poppy seeds; and while it is Purim, mint  jelly filled Ozney Haman are NOT funny.   Many secular scholars note that while some traditionalists insist that  Munn is required, Munn being close to "Haman", it is a distortion of  historical fact. The JPS commentary notes that "poppy seed filling has  only been called munn in the past 3 centuries." The Romans called the  poppy "papvericum," hence the scientific name Papaverciae Nidiculae  or Papaverciae Orientalis. They add that the Persian word for poppy seed  is "wanjila," hence the link between munn and Haman is a recent creation.  They also add that Haman most likely had not a three sided ear, but a 5-sided ear, with the ritual shape common to the priests of the Ashtoreth  cult.  

Frum Authorities vary, but most insist on eating munn. For  example, many Haredi authorities, following the principal of "shunning the  new," only allow black munn filling. The Satmar insist that "we are not  to eat chocolate filled hamentaschen until the messiah comes."  

Religious Zionists say that in "chutz La'aretz", one must eat and bake  with munn filling for 10% of all cookies as a zecher of the Trumah, while  chocolate filling is only permitted in the boundaries of "greater Israel."  Ovadiah Yosef adds that one may eat chocolate filled Ozney Haman ONLY if  the chocolate is Shmurah Chocolate from Israel. Ashkenazim should check  with their rabbis regarding Shmurah Chocolate, especially on Pesach.

TU B'SHVAT SEDER GUIDELINES
NEW YEAR OF THE TREES

Tu B'Shvat, the 15th day of the month of Shevat, is the New Year for trees.  A special seder with Kabbalistic themes was formulated in the 1600’s by the students of the Ari HaKadosh, Rabbi Isaac Lurie Ashkenazi.  It was setup along the lines of the Pesach (Passover) Seder. It is customary to eat different types of fruit on this holiday and to recite the appropriate blessings. Fruits of the seven species of Israel are commonly eaten, such as grapes, dates, figs, olives, and pomegranates.

Since it is the New Year for trees, the names of many trees are mentioned at the seder.  However, the following trees are not listed in the Torah, and thus may not be mentioned at the Seder: Maple, Redwood, Sequoia, Mesquite, Hickory, Poisonous Black Dutch and Highland Fir.

MAY ONE USE CHOCOLATE?
NO! Technically, the cocoa bean is a vegetable, not a fruit.  White Chocolate? Maybe.

WHAT PSALMS SHOULD ONE RECITE AT THE SEDER?
- Psalm 169: "I have an allergy, O Lord, to thy tropic fruits"
- Psalm 179: "We do not have to listen to you any more, because God loves us better."
- Psalm 206: "The Lord is my teacher, please do not flunk me out of class."

IS THERE AN OBLIGATION TO BE DRUNK ON TU B'SHVAT?
Although on Purim the Gemara states that one should drink "aad delow yada," this obligation does not apply to the Tu B'Shvat seder and one is forbidden from drinking excessive amounts of alcohol.  Originally, Beit Shammai ruled that drinking was okay.  However, after an unfortunate incident involving two rabbis, a dozen figs, a duck, and 3 cans of beer, Beit Hillel ruled that one is not allowed to drink on Tu B'Shvat, EVER.

MAY MEN AND WOMEN BE AT THE SAME TU B'SHVAT SEDER?
Yes, men and woman may be at the same seder, but woman are not permitted to prepare, cook, clean, or do any type of activity for this seder.  Men have an obligation to take care of everything, from soup to nuts (pardon the pun), thus falsely convincing themselves that they actually "did something" for a "seder" and claim bragging rights.

MIXING OF THE CUPS
It is customary to mix a cup of red wine (representing the blood, the physical) and white wine (representing the soul, the spiritual) into a third cup in a Tu B'Shvat ritual known as Shichvas Damim.  The scientific accuracy for the shiur of mixing the wines in the third cup must be 2.761:1 red wine to white.  This is best achieved by using a gas chromatograph to verify your mixture. If there is even a slight discrepancy, you may not drink from it.  The mixture is then poured back and forth two times into a fourth cup.  The fourth cup must be four to the fourth times the size of the first cup, which is 1.3 gallons.

FORBIDDEN FRUITS
Apples: given by Eve to Adam
Etrog: may only be touched on Sukkot (see Shulchan Lo'aruch, Ktizur Chayi 3:345)
Pears: the gematriah of AGAS adds up to 401, which is the same as "forbidden weddings"
Peaches: not in the torah
Lemons: could be confused with an etrog (see "Forbidden Fruits>Etrog")
Limes: could be confused with a lemon (see "Forbidden Fruits>Lemons")
Pomelo: not a natural fruit, result of cross-pollination, an issur d'oraisah
Guava: the number of seeds total 365, the number of negative commandments
Passion fruit: passion is not allowed in Judaism, unless it's passion for Torah
Avocado: the enormous pit represents gehenom and cannot be presented at the seder
Cumquat: the name just sounds dirty

LAWS OF HANUKKAH DECORATIONS AND ELECTRIC MENORAHS
Foreword: Although one might feel that it is now permitted to own a Christmas tree provided it is called a "Hanukkah Bush" when Jewish friends are over, if you have an Evergreen tree of any kind in your house between Thanksgiving and Valentine's day, you are chayav makkot beit din, which in our day will mean being forced to watch 96 hours of Melanie Griffith in "A Stranger Amongst Us."

Cleary, Hanukkah decorations are required d'oraitah. But which decorations fulfill the mitzvah of "chidur habayit?" Our sages, Z"L , were quite clear on the matter.

A) There must be one decoration that contains the image or outline of a dreidel ("siveevon" for our Sephardic brethren). Beware of products made in China that bear a dreidel with a letter that is neither a nun nor a gimmel, but appears to be a dehydrated aiyin. This is actually the symbol of a Chinese god, and therefore owning it makes you a ba'al avoduh'zarah.

B) They should be of tinsel, foil or shiny materials, but they may not contain green or red tinsel. Ramblam (Blechmonides) allows for red or silver tinsel, but the Kol Sinam (R. Ihat Eyouall of Lakewood) forbids them both. They should be appealing to the eye and shiny, even if they are flimsy and harder to untangle than your gentile neighbor's 12,000 yards of holiday lights.

C) Images of menorahs are not permitted if they are only 7 branched (See the Ba'al haBoring on Baba Meiseh, 44c). Maccabees are permitted, but not if they are doing anything else besides studying Torah. We know that the Maccabees were such Tzadikim that they never actually picked up a weapon. Rather, they were saved by Hashem because they did not let their daughters have any contact with the outside world unless they married a boy who was going into Kollel (clearly derived from the pasuk "And he brought her to the tent of Sara his mother"). Therefore, images of swords, shields, and muscular fighting men are in fact inaccurate and may not be used to fulfill the mitzvah.

D) If a child should hang a decoration, our sages all agree that a Jewish mother is required to have the child take it down, telling the child "because it could catch on fire." This is required even if the decoration is nowhere near the Chanukkiah. It may later be re-hanged in almost the same place. If the child does hang a decoration that does not easily catch fire (metal, glass, etc) than the mother is required to take it down saying "someone could choke to death on this" or "do you want us to get electrocuted?" This clearly is the halacha, as it is still practiced by the wives of many Gedolim according many children and talmidim of such great men. Note that some may also add "You can hang something that dangerous up when you have your own place, but not in here!"

E) It is a mitzvah to leave the Hanukkah decorations up for as long as possible. This is just as commendable as leaving one's Sukkah up long after Sukkois or eating dairy only for 9 days after Shavuois (see Shulcah LoAruch, Kitzur Chayim 141). Sephardim hang the Hanukkah decorations up 40 days prior to Hanukkah, but they do so without a bracha.

F) At the end of the Hanukkah time period, a Jewish mother is obligated to place the decorations in a non-descript unmarked box or container. She must place this box in so safe a place that even she does not remember where they are, making the family do a frantic last minute search that is more difficult than bedikat chametz when a two year old child moves the crusts of bread around.

The electric Chanukkiah, while completely unacceptable for most Ba'alei Teshuvah, may be used with a heter from your Posek. Interestingly, many Ashkenazim have taken to buying clear "night-lite" bulbs to replace burnt-out bulbs. Clearly this is not permitted by any posek (See Sefer Hamamzer, "Pitkum Haketores."), as follows the Chofetz Chayim's adage "The New is forbidden by the Torah." Only orange bulbs may be used in the socket of a electric menorah on display. No other color may be used in any case, even if no other bulbs are available (unless one is Sephardic, in which case it is commendable to use those neat blue and white flame-style bulbs). Sephardim light Hanukkah candles for 40 days prior to Hanukkah, without a bracha.

Halachic quiz

1) Why is it not permitted to use general decorating material bought in a home décor shop for Hanukkah? (See Kol Sinam, "HaMaykiel Asur", also Ramblam)

2) Why is it better for a Jewish mother to tear down decorations put up by a teenage son than to leave them hanging up for even a minute?

3) What is the punishment for putting up pictures of Maccabees fighting, and why is it a death penalty? (See Tushi's notes on Megilas Chanukah, Perek 7).

LAWS OF PROPER JEWISH WEDDING DECORUM
WASHING:
Only three groups of people at weddings are required to perform netilas yodoiim before eating bread; one whose child has just sneezed all over one's hands, one who is being watched one's mother or a member of the bride's family, and anyone who recently attended yeshivat BMT (your hands will never be truly clean- not after last spring's tiyul).

One may not refuse the choson or kolloh's request that you get people to wash unless you can think of a really good excuse- preferably one that mentions yetziat mitzrayim (Mishnah Balagan, 6:11).

SHUREIM:
All hors d'oeuvres fall into two categories: Egg rolls and all other hors d'oeuvres. The minimum number of egg rolls that must be eaten during a tish or Kebalois Ponim is 12, as with the 12 matzot on the table of the Mishkan; this is according to the understanding of the Puternosher Rov. Furthermore, one can not call them egg rolls without eating them in the plural.

Is one obligated to eat more egg rolls during the free time of yichud? Clearly, one should continue to eat during the yichud time, and since the waiters disappear during the chuppah, the new round of food that follows counts as a separate meal in many ways, and therefore, one must eat more. (R. Heinani Nani, Ho-hoho Chapter 6).

Does it matter if the meal is fleishig of chas v'sahlom, milchig? No. The Puternosher Rov explains clearly that be the eggrolls parve, or, Be'ezras hashem, with a nice bit of chicken in them, the obligation is the same (Meshu Genah, 44:5).

Other hors d'oeuvres, one must eat a minimum of one of each hors d'oeuvres, as it is taught by Chazal, "Basar V'dagim v'CHOL matamim." If one does not eat one of each, one can not be counted as fulfilling "v'chol Matamin." Items with Asparagus or Broccoli are an exception, since neither is mentioned in the Torah.

DESSERT TABLE:
One is obligated to compliment the desert table. The Ba'al Ha-Taphrit taught that the word shulchan is made up of two parts: "sh" and "ulchan." This teaches us that it when the guests are invited to the desert table, read "She-ula-cheyn," that is "that you should be gracious over it." Hot Fudge, obviously, should it be served, must be complimented first (according to the Ramban's Hilchos Shokolad). Deserts served at the table must be complimented at the same length.

DANCING:
Three dances are obligatory d'oriatiah; The Kerchif, the chair, and the square-squeeze (for men). These Represent the three Keterim, as the Kerchif dance represents the Tznif of the Cohen Gadol, the Chair dance represents the throne of Doivid HaMelech, and the two sets of two rows of men represent the daled amot of halacha. Furthermore, just as dancing is most exciting as the rows of dancers close together, so two are Jews happier when the laws of the Torah are made narrow with many chumrahs.

Men are not allowed to dance in anyway that resembles women's dances. This includes line dances, and circular dances with steps such as the terkeziah or the "Mayim" steps. This is clearly asur D'oriatah, as the Rambam noted that such dancing is clearly following the ways of the Epyptians, which Bnei Yisroel may not do. This is why men may only dance in shlumpy circles.

TAKING HOME FOR OTHERS:
Some, particularly those pesky conservative Jews and those ignorant, manners obsessed Yeckies would frown of the dumping of a whole tray of hors d'oeuvres into your purse, or having a child scoop up handfuls of potato puffs into a napkin for you to take home to your brother in law. Clearly, even though you or your child are taking the food to someone who was not invited, you are sharing the mitzvah of rejoicing with the bride and groom (the teaching of Moreinu Yohoram Grubberyuden HaSchnorrer). Accordingly, if taking leftovers home for oneself, one is simply extended the duration of the simcha! Therefore, you and your children may take as much extra food home as you like, regardless of who else has eaten or even if your children have not washed their hands.

If approached, go on the defensive. Nobody, not the parents of the bride, or guests who are teachers used to working with kids should, Chas V'shalom, get away with telling you to make your children wash their hands and use serving utensils. This mitzvah is so important, no one should dare try and stop you from taking home enough food to feed your guests for the coming Shabbat.

BENCHING:
One is obligated to bench after a seudas mitzvah such as at a wedding; however, since weddings may go longer than the time you told the babysitter you will be home, it may be necessary to leave early. If this is the case, one should try to assemble a quorum of 10 other men who also need to go home and relieve the babysitter, and make a mezuman. If 10 is not available, try 3. If 3 are not available, you will have to bench by yourself but think about the chosson and kallah throughout the benching. If you are distracted and think about the dessert table you need to restart benching according to some opinions. Others hold if you think about food while benching then you are not really "sated" as per the d'oraisah commandment and thus your benching was levatalah. Taking home more benchers than you need to add to your gigantic collection is not recommended, but there is no Torah punishment for doing so; taking them off the table of the brides family will make you chayav makkois.

Halacha Quiz

1. What is another reason why you should take home food from a wedding, even if it means others may not eat? And why is this more important than using serving utensils? (Review the writings of Moreinu Yohoram Grubberyuden HaSchnorrer.)

2. What is the punishment for men who dance an organized dance? (See the Ba’al HaShtuss on Mishnah Balagan, Perek Shishi.)

3. If one should choose to eat and not dance, why is this more praiseworthy than eating and dancing- even though some may look down on the practice? (See the Kli Bizol on the Riv”kah.)

4. If you are a woman, what is the proper protocol if another woman at the wedding is wearing the same outfit?
a. Go home and stay there
b. Go home and change outfits
c. Go to the shmorg table and eat yourself into a coma

LAWS OF THE HOLE IN THE SHEET (HILCHOIS PESISCHOH)
In Shemois 26:3 we learn that when building the Mishkan, "Five of these sheets shall be joined to one another, and [the other] five sheets shall [also] be joined to one another.”  Rashi comments on the phrase "shall be joined:" “He [Bezalel] would sew them with a needle, one [curtain] alongside the other, five separately and [the other] five.” From this it is clear that a man may only join with his wife if the five (the four limbs and the head) are separated from the other five. Clearly this is a mitzvah of such great seriousness that it was not discussed by the Geonim or Rishonim, and only mentioned in metaphor by the Gemorah in Masechet Baba Meiseh.

4. What is the reward for those who use 7 sheets and a hole the size of a kuvtar (small Greek pickle)? (See the 9th Perek of Sanhedrin).

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